The Devil Won't Keep series (ongoing)
'I have the ongoing fantasy that is also my greatest fear, that one day I'll just walk from this life and I need to leave my children with an extensive portrayal of what they meant to me and how I saw them, that will in turn be a memory of me.
Obsessions with morbidity, death and religion; fear of being left or leaving. It feels overwhelming to be a mother sometimes. I walked alongside a cliff edge with my tiny baby and I had to fight my consciousness to stop my arms from dropping my child over the edge, they were trying to float away from my body. My fear like a stench, this horrendous pressure to do this {parenting} right, an over powering fear of myself. That I loved this child so much -a coming of Christ. I knew then I wouldn't be capable of doing it justice. In all of this I am also trying to heal myself, reimagine my own childhood and grow up alongside my children.'
'I have the ongoing fantasy that is also my greatest fear, that one day I'll just walk from this life and I need to leave my children with an extensive portrayal of what they meant to me and how I saw them, that will in turn be a memory of me.
Obsessions with morbidity, death and religion; fear of being left or leaving. It feels overwhelming to be a mother sometimes. I walked alongside a cliff edge with my tiny baby and I had to fight my consciousness to stop my arms from dropping my child over the edge, they were trying to float away from my body. My fear like a stench, this horrendous pressure to do this {parenting} right, an over powering fear of myself. That I loved this child so much -a coming of Christ. I knew then I wouldn't be capable of doing it justice. In all of this I am also trying to heal myself, reimagine my own childhood and grow up alongside my children.'
